Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sent To The Enterprise

I'm in trouble again.

Just because I had a little bit of fun with a planetary system, making time go backward then forward for them every couple of hours.

They didn't know if they were coming or going!

Those in the Q Continuum have absolutely no sense of humour. I'd say to them ,"Get a life!", but of course, the beings that we are, we don't exist that way.

I'm in front of the Disciplinary Panel; I think I've been here quite often.

"It simply won't do, Q" Q tells me, "We in the Continuum have a sense of responsibility to those lesser creatures that inhabit the universe"

"I was only having a laugh" I tell him.

"You may well call it 'having a laugh', but we take it seriously" Q replies indignantly, "The human Picard has a strong sense of discipline; you will be sent to the Enterprise for 24 hours and ordered to do what he says, otherwise you will be stripped of your powers."

I contain my glee; a day with Jean-Luc is ideal!


I appear in front of Jean-Luc as he is on the Bridge.

"What do you want, Q?" he says somewhat aggressively. The Captain is never very welcoming.

"Q reporting for duty, mon Captain!" I exclaim.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he replies.

I explain the situation, and Jean-Luc smiles to himself. Riker and all the other bridge staff join in the laugh as well.

"It doesn't surprise me that you got into trouble, Q" he says, "You're so irresponsible. Very well, you shall do exactly what I tell you to do for the next 24 hours."

"I'll do any menial job, Jean-Luc" I tell him, "I'll even do Riker's job. I'm sure he would rather be with Counselor Troi."

Riker looks angry, and Deanna looks red-faced.

"You're not having my job, Q" Riker snaps at me.

"Ah, what a pity, Commander." I tell him, "I think you've disappointed Deanna."

"I know what you can do, Q" Jean-Luc, "You can go and help someone."

"Who might that be?" I ask, "Is it the delightful Beverly?"

"NO!" he shouts, "You can help Guinan in Ten Forward and serve drinks."

"Not her!" I exclaim, "Captain, I've told you before, she is a dangerous imp and will only cause trouble if.."

"I know who causes trouble around here" he replies, "Now go to Ten Forward!"


When I get there, Guinan is laughing away to herself. She would. She always did when she got the better of me in the past.

"Now listen here, Q" she tells me, "These orders are coming from Captain Picard; you will not use your powers in any way to serve the drinks or the food. You will do it just as any other normal waiter would. Now get to it!"

I mumble a few Q expletives only found in the Continuum and start serving.

I hear a finger snapping and a voice.


It's Riker, with Troi.

They have both got wide grins on their faces as they get me running backward and forward. On one occasion I fall over with the drinks.

"That's coming out of the tips you get!" Guinan tells me. That would be a fine thing; no one gives me any. They are all so ungrateful here on the Enterprise.

During the next 24 hours, I am run off my feet, with members of the Bridge coming in wanting a Chocolate Sundae, Tequila Slammer, Screwdriver and a Klingon Bloodwine. I think Jean-Luc has sent them all down here and got me to serve them. I've noticed that all of the other waiters have left from their shifts early.

At last, the day is over; Jean-Luc comes to me and smiles.

"Well Q" he says with a grin, "I hope you've enjoyed our visit to the Enterprise. Remember to watch your step, otherwise the Continuum could have you working in Ten Forward for good."

Not if I can help it.